Serenity into 2021

Assalamualaikum and hello, readers. 

Is it too late for me to wish everyone a very happy new year? I hope everyone is doing well despite the unfortunate condition we're dealing with now. Pandemic has definitely hit us differently, right? Not just economically but also in our personal development. I'd say it has the biggest effect on our mental health, especially we're now in a new era filled with a sensitive generation. 

And it's okay if you're one of the sensitive generations because it doesn't make you a weak person. You're just more vulnerable to heavy changes. For me, heavy changes don't always bring you to rock bottom, but also a turnover redefines your purpose until you can bloom to be the wonderful person you are.  

It's normal to feel like everything is crumbling down, but what's important is you try to get back up regardless if it only takes some small steps or even a crawl. 

I, myself personally experienced it and I can say it's definitely "NOT EASY". It might not be the same as what others are experiencing and maybe my level of strength for a certain scenario is not enough but really, I was hitting rock bottom. Countlessly feel that life is unfair towards me and how unfair people have been treating me. But when I slowly try to reach back to the Creator, I realized that it's wrong for me to question the things that happened in our life. There's always a reason for every difficulty. It's to teach you and to re-shift your focus. 

Growing up, I always thought that this life is a race. "You need to achieve this when you reach a certain age, you need to get married, you need to have a job, you need to have children, you need to... (the list goes on)." 

But trying to redefine my purpose, doesn't always have to be parallel to everyone's life purposes. In my perspective, social media has always been a platform for comparing, hatred, and developing self-ungrateful feelings. It's like no one is trying to backlash anyone when they're sharing content on their social media, but we, the sensitive generation, tend to "terasa" or "fitnah" and etc. That's a cue for me to stay away from the medium because in my case, I easily feel left out. So after seeing something that I wish I'd never see creates bad energy and thoughts in my head. This leads to overthinking and higher development of anxiety. 

So, whichever methods you're taking for self-development or working towards self-love, go for it. Go at your own pace, find your muse and always remember to appreciate the Creator more than you appreciate the creation. I pray everything goes well for everyone and may everyone be in Allah's protection. 

Love, 

Qila.